Resiliency

A month or so ago one of my freshmen,"Hannah"(name changed), had missed more than a week of school. Sadly this is not uncommon here in Las Vegas. I thought perhaps she had the flu or another contagious ailment and that her parents had allowed her to take the week off. But at the end of the week I received an email from the attendance office requesting that I send any work home for Hannah because she was going to be "absent for a month on maternity leave".

I was in shock. This student, a bright young girl, who had the fantastic corny sense of humor that I do, was pregnant, and I hadn't known. I felt horrible. I searched my mind for clues. She was always wearing big sweatshirts but I thought that was just her style. She was a little chubby, but I never imagined that she was pregnant. And again, she was a stand out student, always doing good work and adding a funny comment to go with it. How had I missed this?

 Then two weeks ago I received an e-mail from Hannah's mother. Essentially the mother said that she herself did not know about Hannah's pregnancy until she was eight months along. Hannah told her single mom the story. It was the classic older guy who mom did not like Hannah hanging out with. And that's all it took. So her mom was flabbergasted when eight months later her baby girl came home and said she was nearly ready to give birth. It was too late for other options and though they discussed the possibility of adoption, in the end both Hannah and her mother were not ok with giving up the baby. The email had an incredible paragraph about not giving up on Hannah. Her mother explained that she herself was a teen mom and that though she did not want that for Hannah, she would do all she could to support her daughter and that Hannah WOULD graduate high school and apply to college. The email ended with an update about the good health of Hannah and her baby girl, both thriving. Hannah would be back in a week and each day after school she'd pick up her daughter from day care.

I think I read the email seven times trying to get it all to sink in. I hadn't known she was pregnant. And neither had her mother. I thought she could not have possibly hidden this from me, but again, we were all shocked. I sat down to write an email to her mom and then the tears came.

Dear "mom",

Thank you for reaching out to me with your email. Hannah is an incredible young woman and a very bright student. I know she can handle anything that comes her way. Please let her know I'm here if she ever wants to talk. I know that returning to school will be a tough process but I'll do all I can to catch her up and make sure she is as successful in my class as she has always been. I've attached some worksheets and quizzes as requested so she can begin learning some of the information she has missed. Please give your whole family my warmest wishes. I look forward to seeing Hannah back in class soon. 

Ms. Landau

And a week later she was back, with a bright smile and a "hi Miss Landau!" I couldn't believe it. I guess I had anticipated a "changed" person. But Hannah was the funny, sweet, smart student she had always been. And I was so glad to see her in good spirits. I asked her privately how she and everyone at home was doing and she said with a smile, "well it hurts when I laugh, but we are all doing great". I giggled and promised not to make her laugh-out-loud in class any time soon.

I called her mom after the first few days to let her know how well Hannah was doing. The next day Hannah said that her mom had gotten the message and was very proud of her. Now, Hannah is continuing to demonstrate to me just what resiliency looks like. A few of her decisions led her to a situation she never thought she'd be in at 14 years old, but she has handled it with a sense of responsibility and maturity that I never knew she possessed. I'm incredibly proud to be her teacher and know she is going to graduate from high school and if she wishes, graduate from college and beyond.

To be honest, as the 9th grade English honors teacher, this is a situation I did not think I would see, but it was a good lesson for me to learn. Kids are fantastic at hiding even the most obvious things affecting their lives, so whenever they finally come clean we must be there for them as supporters and mentors.

Cheers,

Ms. Landau