A year of teaching COMPLETE

Before writing this post I read through my entire blog. First of all, sorry about all of the little errors. I should REALLY be better at that since I do TEACH English (and will be teaching editing as the yearbook teacher/advisor next year). But alas, some of the posts were written after long, tough days, so even forming sentences felt like a win.

Instead of blabbering on I'm going to break this final post down into a few parts. Hopefully this will stop me from talking in circles. 

1. Impact of students on my life

2. My advice for 1st year TFAs

3. Worries for the future

Part 1: The kids


Here goes. My students have changed my outlook on so many levels. I no longer judge a teenager during the first, second, or even hundredth time I interact with them. So many of my kids this year came off as tougher, angrier, and more resistant than they actually were. I found that getting to the heart of a child (yes teens are still children) takes hundreds of moments of connection. And then one day, they break. This can be a beautiful discovery of a skill they want to turn into a career or the realization that their life is the way it is for a few more years before they can truly become independent. The epiphanies come in all shapes and sizes, but each takes time to be realized, and you CANNOT rush the process.

Sometimes the things I teach that do not relate to grammar or literature are MORE impactful to students and will stay with them into their lives. I know I was able to improve my kids writing skills. They saw it, I saw it, and we were all celebrating their essays by the end of the year. But I think showing them every single day that there is a career/job out their for everyone that is fun and exciting, truly shifted their perspective on the future. My energy caused them to care, when they otherwise might have tuned me out, and I know I need to bring even more joy each day next year.

Most importantly, my students let me into their lives. This was an unexpected gift. Teens like to share with each other (CONSTANTLY) but I did not think they would be willing to share with their teacher. I was wrong. I learned about so many heartbreaking stories: students who lost parents, students who are homeless, students who work through the night to support their families, and students who started families of their own before they were ready. But more than these tough moments I saw endless resiliency and compassion in teenagers, that's right TEENS! They rose to the challenge, whether it was a pop quiz from their least favorite teacher, or helping a friend out who just lost their mom. And when students told me these stories, my heart ached for them but luckily, I was able to coach them towards action and hopefully alleviate a tiny bit of their stress along the way.

Part 2: Advice

So you want to join Teach For America? Cool! I'll be your biggest cheerleader, and send you lesson plans to help get you started. BUT - prepare yourself for a truly challenging year. I cannot say I regret too many things, but thinking I could "handle" teaching simply because I felt I had excelled in college and I always enjoyed children was a miscalculation beyond measure. Those skills do not add up to make a successful educator. You have to be willing to take criticism, ENDLESS criticism. This can be from parents, administration, your TFA mentors, your peers, and of course the students. And you HAVE TO be willing to change your way of doing something, even if will take more time and energy than you think you have.

Teaching is scary. Kids are cruel. They will treat you like garbage if you let them. So do not allow it. Call home, be THAT teacher. Later they will respect you for it. Tell the parents that their 18 year old was disrespectful and you are worried about their college applications if they are unwilling to write a paragraph in your class. It WILL hit home. And gossip spreads like wildfire. Don't tell one class about some prize and expect that two periods later every students won't be badgering you about what the fancy surprise is. And that call home? It will spread too. In a good way. "That new teacher doesn't play" is about the most amazing thing I heard when walking into the lunchroom one day. That was in December - it took 4 months. Things take A LONG TIME. Prepare to see no improvement forEVER before you see any change. That is ok. The seeds are planted. The season of growth is spring, and it is just around the corner.

Part 3: Worries

Take more pictures. I took so many, and it still feels like I don't have enough snapshots of my kiddos. I'm worried I'll forget their names and quirks, and that makes me sad. But some will come and visit, and that will be truly incredible. Write things down. If a student does something amazing, write a stickie and put it on their desk. It won't just brighten their day, it will change how they act in your classroom. And domino effects exist. I promise.

I'm worried that I did not do enough to prepare my seniors for the real world. I had so many people rooting for me as I headed off to college and to teaching and some of my students are totally on their own. How can I explain that it will be tough for a few years until they figure out what they want in life. And that it is ok to switch careers once, twice, or a hundred times - when I haven't done that yet myself? I worry they will find college to be terribly hard and lonely, and that they will drop out. But I know deep down they are all capable of starting - and finishing - those four or more years. These are all legitimate fears that I cannot really do anything about.

Part 4: It's ok

But then I remember the best part about life. It is scary, unpredictable, hilarious, cruel, wonderful, and filled with choices. They can make the choices that will make them successful. They will make good choices, and if they make a few bad ones, those are learning experiences. They have my email and twitter to reach out and therefore have at least one adult cheering them on as they start their next adventure.

As for me, I'll be traveling to the east coast for about a month this summer to reconnect with friends and family, and I cannot wait to share stories with the teachers in my life. Thank you. Truly thank you for supporting me as I attempted this adventure, even if you just read a couple posts, I felt connected with so many of you and it made a big difference. I'll sign off for a while with this quote that a student and I created mid-year after she had a breakdown about her family situation. It encompasses everything I hope to teach my students in the future. Cheers to summer - congratulate a teacher or student in your life.

With Love, 

Danielle (Ms. Landau is off for the summer!)